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August 10, 2011



Dave: You talk about "deeper roots" of speech matching and that you would simply discover through "intuition" that a person lacks empathy and warmth and genuiness even if they were to learn how to "match" a conversational partner's speech patterns... but this IS where we diverge...I think that some people have developed or are naturally oriented toward matching well and others are not...and that with some feedback and coaching they can make improvements. But a more important point is that we "give people time" to get to know us and for us to "like them" even if they are not very good at this type of conversational matching.


Question..."accomodate neurodiversity", OK, sure...but do we still have to like the person?...and if we do not, should we tell them or not? (should we strive to live by the rule of 'if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it'?) Or perhaps a different question, in the case of the person we were talking about, how would you go about "teaching" him to be better at matching...like how would you begin that conversation for example?


We never finished this conversation...either an interruption by the lady with MRS disease or we just floated into another tangential...at any rate, if we had finished the conversation or at least gone a little further I think that I would have expressed my belief that the problem for this person was deeper, having to do with his insecurity and wanting to impress people, possibly to cover for his imperfect self...thus the lack of "matching" has deeper roots. I think this is once again an example of how we agree and not totally agree in terms of your behavioral perspective vs. my humanistic one. I do not think that either view is better than the other, although mine is probably more right :) Frankly, I do not think that the matching program would fix this "problem", that I would still detect, and be troubled by this person's lack of sincerity, genuineness, humility and general unwillingness to just be real. ..that the radar of intuition or feelings would pick up the intent behind the rhythm, pitch and vocal intensity. Therefore, in conclusion, I agree that your speechmatch is a valid approach , but not a complete one.

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